Super Smash Bros Summertime Vacation
by EdgyMemeLord
Summary: Okay. Hello. This is my first story, but I like it. There is language in this story, so if you're sensitive to that stuff, don't read. Also, there are no 'ships' in this story. Nobody is in a romantic relationship, so everybody can read this without being sad because someone is paired up with someone they shouldn't be.
1. Ch 1: The Ride

Mario got out of his bed. It was summer and the brawls were done for the season. Mario noticed everyone was miserable, so he told them to pack their bags because they were going on a vacation. All of the smashers cheered and packed their bags. Everyone lined up at the door, they were ready to go. All of them were disappointed when they noticed that the trip was going to take 10 hours and they had to ride in a run-down bus. The smashers usually would've refused to go in that thing, but since they were so bored, they grudgingly went in it. The trip begun.

The trip started and the first ten minutes went well. The peace ended when Marth got annoyed with Ike. "Ike. Stop flicking me." Said Marth.

"Why?" Replied Ike.

"Because it's annoying."

"Not for me."

"Stop it or I'll have to hurt you."

"I'm so scared, tiara man."

At this point Marth punched Ike in the face. Ike looked at Marth with rage in his eyes. Marth knew his mistake. Ike punched Marth twice and put him in a chokehold. Marth was begging for mercy. Ike laughed, let go, and threw him on the ground. Marth, after about 10 seconds, got up, brushed himself off, and looked for a new seat, but there were none. He sat back next to Ike. Ike laughed at this.

Falco woke up from all of this excitement and couldn't go back to sleep from all of the talking, so he pulled out his tablet. He started playing Flappy Bird. People teased him for playing the outdated game, but those same people asked if they could have a turn. Falco got 63, and out of everyone who tried, the next highest was Ness, who got 27. Falco was proud until Ike wanted to try to play. Ike didn't really know much about electronics, but knew how to play a simple game. He got frustrated with the game fast. "I DIDN'T EVEN HIT THE DAMN PIPE! THIS GAME IS BULLSHIT!" exclaimed Ike as he continued playing. Ike got so angry with the "damn piss bird" that he almost threw the tablet out the window. Luckily, Marth was able to stop him.

"What are you doing? Those things are expensive."

"I'm killing this damn bird. He deserves to die."

"Ike, it's fake. Now give it back to Falco.

Ike tossed the tablet back to Falco and told him to kill the bird for him. Things soon died down and Toon link was bored. He was seated behind Fox and got so bored that he started kicking Fox's seat. He kicked and kicked until Fox woke up.

"Toon Link, stop."

"Stop what?"

"Kicking my seat."

"Why?"

"Because it's annoying."

"So? I like it."

"Stop or I'll bite your fingers off."

That remark shut Toon Link up. Toon Link sat there for a moment and yelled, "I HAVE TO TAKE A PEEPEE!" Mario, who was driving the bus, said they will be at the next stop in 10 minutes. "But I can't wait 10 minutes." said Toon Link. "Yes you can." said Mario. Toon Link felt like it took forever. He was dancing in his seat to avoid peeing. Toon Link got up and headed to the back of the bus. After a few minutes of silence, everyone heard a weird noise. It sounded like a leak. Roy said he would check it out, when he followed the noise, he saw Toon Link pissing on the bus wall in the back of the bus. "WHAT THE HELL? JESUS, TOON LINK!" yelled Roy. Everyone looked back and saw what Toon Link was doing. Everyone was stunned in silence, which was broken by Ike laughing his head off. Then, half the people laughed and the other half cringed at the sight. While all of this was happening, Mario whispered under his breath, "I'll drive off a cliff. I swear to god. I'll do it." Toon Link didn't understand what he did wrong. He was just peeing. Everyone did it. After the laughter died down. They stopped.

Everyone got out and stretched their legs. Mario told Roy to buy some stuff for the trip. After 10 minutes, Roy came back with chips, some candy, water, and vodka. "Roy, why did you get vodka, I don't think we should all drink it." said Luigi. "No," said Roy, "the vodka is for me." Luigi looked at the small redhead with concern, but didn't want to get in the way of a man and his alcohol. Once they all got in, they started driving again. Roy struggled to open up the vodka while everyone else fought to the nail for some food and water. After almost everyone, Marth was going to get some, but was ran over by Ike, got some food and water, they noticed that Roy already drank half the bottle. "Oh shit" everyone thought collectively. Roy, who was seated next to Wolf, looked at Wold with drunken eyes. "Go back to your *hiccup* own country, you commie." This was going to be a long ride. Roy started to get up off his seat, yelled something incoherent, and then took off all of his clothes, except for his underpants. Most people looked away in disgust, but Ike started filming this. Roy made eye contact with Marth and said, "Hey, pretty lady. Want some of this?" Roy then pelvic thrusted his way to Marth and gave a lap dance to him. Marth was in disgust, Roy was having the time of his life, Yoshi was vomiting out the window, Mario was contemplating suicide, and Ike was happy he brought his camera. Marth pushed Roy to the ground, where he then started crying. Wolf got up and tried to take the vodka from Roy, but Roy wouldn't let go. Luigi started to help, along with Link. Ike probably could've done it, but he was too busy filming. However, Ganondorf accidentally stepped on the vodka bottle and broke it. Roy, looked at the broken bottle and cried even harder. He put his hands on where the vodka spilled, got his hands with the vodka, and started licking his hands while proclaiming that it wasn't fair. Mario stopped the bus and told everyone to put Roy in the trunk. Nobody argued or disagreed with this. Roy was in the trunk and the bus started moving again. "Only 5 more hours, only 5 more hours, only 5 more hours, only…" Mario kept repeating to himself. Silence fell on the bus again and was, again, interrupted with Ike laughing his head off. Marth was red with embarrassment as Ike read Marth's book over his shoulder and howled, "MARTH! YOU ACTUALLY READ ROMANCE NOVELS? I ALWAYS JOKED ABOUT IT! THIS ISN'T ANY ROMANCE, THOUGH. YOU'RE SOME WEIRD SEX THING!" Everyone looked at Marth with disgust and question. Marth tried to defend himself, but everybody was too busy laughing to hear him. Then, Ike noticed that Marth made notes in the book, explaining how the writer could've done a better job. This made Ike laugh harder. Marth slapped Ike on his head, but Ike didn't care and was rolling on the floor, laughing. Ike always knew Marth was weird fellow, but this made Marth a weirdo. After 10 minutes of everyone laughing at Marth, the laughter died down. Lucas looked out the window and screamed. Everyone looked to Lucas' window and saw Roy. He somehow got out of the trunk and was now on top of the bus looking through the window. Everyone was shouting at Lucas to open the door. Lucas couldn't take the pressure and started crying. Link sighed and got up and opened the window. Roy got in and passed out on the floor, drooling. Everyone took a picture. After an hour of everyone laughing at Roy, Roy got up and started hitting on Peach. "Hey Peach, you got a cake?"

"Ummm. No. Why?" Peach said nervously.

"Because I'm drunk."

Roy then shit his pants and passed out again.

Mario stopped the bus. Told Marth to clean Roy up.

"Why me?" asked Marth.

"We see how you look at Roy. You'll like it." Mario said.

Everyone nodded. Marth sighed and cleaned Roy up. It was the worst experience of his life. Cleaning up another man's poop. Mario called Roy a cab and told the driver to take him back to smash mansion. Roy was cleaned up, but still drunk off his ass. Before he left in the cab, everyone heard Roy asking the cab driver is he was single.

Zelda was sitting there, listening to music, when her phone died. It lasted for 6 hours, which is pretty good, and now she had nothing to do, but talk to people. She started talking to Samus, but Samus was listening to her own music and didn't listen. Zelda notices this and decided not to mess with Samus while she was listening to music. She made that mistake before. So, Zelda went to talk to Peach. Peach was normal until Zelda accidentally said "boy band". Peach started squealing. She LOVED boy bands. Many of the smashers covered their ears as Peach squealed, but it was so loud that they could still hear her clearly. She started screaming about who was the best boy band and who produced the best music and who was the hottest. Samus couldn't stand this anymore and threw a book at Peach, who then started crying. Ike laughed. Nobody else laughed, but nobody defended Peach, save for Zelda. "Why did you do that?" said Zelda while comforting Peach.

"Because she was being annoying." said Samus.

"You can't hurt people when they're being annoying."

"Says you."

Ike was still laughing. Peach looked at Ike angrily and said, "You big, fat meanie. No wonder you have no friends."

It took 6 people to hold down Ike so he didn't beat the living daylights out of Peach. Peach stuck her tongue out at Ike, which only made him madder. He was sitting near Samus, took out another book from her bag and threw it at Peach, who started crying again. "God dammit, I just calmed her down" said Zelda. Ike and Samus started talking to each other and laughing about Peach. After a few more hours they arrived at the hotel. The 10 hour bus trip was over and now they could have a vacation.


	2. Ch 2: The Epic First Day

**Hello, everybody! I didn't know how to add author's notes last chapter and didn't know that I just type it in the story. So, how did everyone like the story? You liked it. Believe me. Anyway, I'm leaving for a vacation on the 24th, so I'll either try to finish the story before then, or I'll have to wait until the vacation is over to update again. It'll only be like 5 days. However, I hope you enjoy the story. Thanks for reading!**

Everyone was given their room keys and who they were with. Marth got his room card and swore. He was with Ike, Link, and Roy. Roy wasn't there, so that was a relief. As soon as Marth said that, drunken Roy walked in. "Ho-w-w did you get here?" asked Marth. "I told the cab driver I would be in the cab shorter if he followed the bus." said Roy. "Oh, god dammit." said Marth. Everyone shared a room with at least two others, except for Wario, who got his own room for obvious reasons. It was late, so everyone went to their rooms and went to sleep.

Morning came and Ike was taking a shower when he heard the door open. Roy, who was hungover and not thinking clearly, took off all of his clothes and stepped in the shower with Ike. "WHAT THE HELL, MAN?" Yelled Ike. Marth and Link woke up, looked in the bathroom, looked at what was happening and laughed. "IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!" yelled Ike. Ike got out of the shower as fast as he could, dried himself, and put clothes on all while Marth and Link were laughing at him. "Screw you, guys." Ike said. Later, everyone was ready to go down to the beach. Ike was walking with Link when he said, "I hate sand!." "Why?" asked Link.

"It gets stuck to you and it's hot and it gets in your shoes."

"What are you? A 90 year old man?"

"Oh, shut up."

Right then, Marth came up and said, "Yeah Ike, you really do seem like a 90 year old man."

"Oh, shut up, Martha."

"Race you to the water!" said Link, who started running.

"No way!" said Ike as he started running.

"Haha, I win!" exclaimed Ike.

"Shut up." said Link. They both noticed Marth still just walking. Link shouted, "HURRY UP, GRANDPA!" Marth looked mad. Ike shouted, "EXCUSE HIM! HE MEANT, 'HURRY UP, GRANDMA!" Link and Ike both started snickering as Marth made it to the water. Marth put his toe in the water and said, "Hey, you know what. It's too cold. I'm just going to be on the sand. "Baby." Both Link and Ike said.

Marth was laying on his towel, reading his pervert book, when he was suddenly lifted up. He dropped the book in the sand and was wrapped up in a towel cocoon. Link and Ike started laughing. "God dammit," Marth yelled, "Put me down this instant!" Link and Ike were still laughing and threw Marth into the water. He came out of the water. "Great, now I can't even dry myself off." said Marth said as he held up his wet towel. This only made Ike and Link laugh harder. Marth rolled his eyes and started to enjoy himself.

"Marco!" said Toon Link.

"I told you, we're not playing." said Ness.

"Come on. Please?"

"NO!"

"Please, I have no one else to play with."

"FOR THE LAST TIME! NO!"

"Fine. Asshole."

At that exact moment, Ness, Lucas, Popo, and Nana gasped.

"What did you-you say?" said Popo.

Toon Link fell to the ground. "Please don't tell, please don't tell, please don't tell, plea-" pleaded Toon Link.

"Okay," said Ness, "but you have to do everything we say."

Toon Link hesitated, but finally said. "Okay."

After playing in the water for a while, Peach said, "Hey, does anyone want to play volleyball?" Even though nobody really wanted to play, nobody REALLY wanted to hear Peach crying and complaining and crying that nobody would play with her. The teams were Ike, Samus, and Link vs Marth, Peach, and Zelda with Mario was the referee. In the game, the following events happened: Marth got pinched by a crab, Link's trunks fell down. Twice. Ike hit Peach in the face with the ball really hard, Samus laughed at that, Zelda kept accidentally using magic during the match, and 3 volleyballs were destroyed. The teams were uneven and Ike's team ended up winning 15-3. Peach got all angry and called them cheaters. Mario said, "No. It was a fair match. Good job everybody." "Stop patronizing us." said Marth.

"Oh, shut up, you blue-haired hippie."

"Hey, screw you, Mario. At least he doesn't weigh 300 pounds." said Ike.

"At least he's not a meanie like you." said Peach. Soon, a beach-wide fight broke out. Friend vs friend, brother vs sister, weird, green, redhead vs a weird, tan, redhead. It was crazy. The fight ended with a classic Wario fart. "Sorry guys." said Wario. A few people started crying at the nastiness. wario decided to show himself out. After a few more hours of nonsense, it was getting dark, so everyone headed back in. Ike and Marth had to carry Roy's drunk ass in. He got his hands on even more vodka, but this time he drank the whole bottle. The whole time Roy was being carried in, he was mumbling some weird conspiracy crap. Something about reptiles, the planet Jupiter, and rabbits.

The next morning, Samus woke up nice and early along with Peach, but Zelda slept in. And snored. Zelda always slept in and nobody really cared, but when you have to share a room with her, it gets pretty annoying. Samus and Peach tried not to mention Zelda's snoring, but it got kind of hard when Zelda keeps sleeping in until 10:00, so they have to hear her snores all morning. Samus hated sharing a room and hated the mixture of a snoring sleepyhead and a high pitched chatterbox, so she went out to explore. She heard, "I'LL KILL YOU, IKE!" and a lot of laughing, so she went to check that out.

 **So, did you guys like chapter? What do you guys want in the next chapter, or in the story? Sorry for the short chapter, the next one will be longer. I promise. If you request something, it might not be in the next chapter, but it will hopefully be in the story. If not, I'll to work it into another story. So, thanks for reading! If you can, rate and review!**


	3. Ch 3: Things Start To Get Interesting

**Alright, I'm back! Again, I will be leaving a 5 day vacation, or at least I think it's 5 days, on the 24th. I'll try my hardest to get the story then before then, but if I can't, you'll just have to wait until I get back. I'm aiming for this story to be ~10k words. Anyway, hope you enjoy it!**

Samus noticed that the sound was coming from Ike, Marth, Link, and Roy's room. Before she could even knock, Ike came sprinting out of the room with Marth's tiara, laughing his head off, with Marth chasing him. "STOP RUNNING AND GIVE IT BACK!" screamed Marth.

"NO! I WANT TO SEE HOW MUCH FOOD I CAN BUY AT THE BUFFET WITH THIS!" shouted Ike back. Ike may be slow in brawls, but with all of his armor off, he's pretty fast. Ike ran down to the buffet, and shouted "HOW MUCH CAN I BUY WITH THIS TIARA!" The waitress looked at him and said, "Um, we don't accept jewelry." Before Ike could try to convince her, Marth ran down and tackled Ike. They landed right on a family's table, ruining the food. The two were still fighting when the waitress yelled at them to get up. They did and she told them to follow her and sternly walked to the manager's office. "Sit down, boys." said the manager. Ike and Marth sat down, with Ike trying to hold in his laughs and with Marth angrily looking at him. "Okay, you two have to options. One: you can leave this hotel and never come back. Or two: you have to work here until you pay off your debts." "Can't we just pay off our debts and not work?" asked Marth. "SILENCE!" shouted the manager. Long story short, Marth and Ike were going to be busboys.

On the beach, the younglings were playing tag. Popo was it and was chasing Lucas. Popo has never played tag, so this was a fun and new game to him. As soon as he got close to Lucas, he hit him as hard as he could in the back of the head. Lucas fell over and started crying. Everyone stopped and went over to help Lucas. "Why did you do that?" asked Nana. "Yeah. What the heck was that for?" asked Ness. "You should be ashamed of yourself." said Toon Link. "Isn't that how you play?" asked Popo. "No," said Ness, "you lightly touch them." "Oh, I get it," said Popo. "Sorry Lucas… so… is Lucas still it?" Lucas was still crying and in a fetal position.

"Hey Snake." said Sonic.

"What?" asked Snake.

"Why are you always under that box?"

"For stealth."

"Dude, no one here is trying to kill you."

"That's what they want you to think."

"Ugh. Anyway, you're getting so pale. Get some sun."

"Fine, but you have to watch my six at all times."

"Fine, come one let's go to the beach."

"Ike, this is all your fault." said Marth. "I don't know. I didn't tackle you on top of a little girl's pancakes and make her cry. That was all you, buddy." said Ike. "Shut up," said Marth, "either way. You can't tell anyone about this. This can ruin my reputation."

"Not mine?" said Ike. "Your reputation was ruined the moment you showed your face around here," said Marth, "but still. DON'T. TELL. ANYONE." Just at that moment, Samus came down the stairs and saw Ike and Marth in little busboy outfits cleaning up the mess they made. She started laughing at them and so did Ike. Marth didn't get what was so funny. "WHAT?" yelled Marth. Between laughs, Samus responded, "You look so stupid in that outfit with your fancy boots and sparkly tiara." "I know," said Ike, "don't tell the Fashion Police about him." "Shut up, we have to work." grumbled Marth. "Why are you guys doing this either way?" asked Samus. Ike told the story and was laughing the whole time, along with Samus and Marth was pouting. "Don't tell anyone, Samus." said Marth. "Fine." said Samus. With that, Samus left to find something else to do.

"SAMUS! SAMUS!" screamed Nana.

"WHAT? WHAT?" said Samus.

"LUCAS IS HURT! YOU HAVE TO HELP HIM!"

"Okay, show me where he is."

Nana walked Samus over to Lucas who was still crying. Everyone told Samus at once what happened, except for Popo, who was too embarrassed and Lucas, who was too busy crying. Samus, who has been told to be tough her entire life told Lucas, "Really, dude? Suck it up… Oh! Popo, you should also apologize." With any other kid, they would've listened to what Samus said because they were scared of going against her, but Lucas got scared and started crying even louder. "Oh god, this kid is a sissy." thought Samus. Just then, Peach came over and started cradling Lucas like a baby. Lucas calmed down and was happy. "Okay, get back to playing." said Peach with a giggle. "How did you do that?" asked Samus.

"Love and care." said Peach.

"Hey, um Peach. Can you teach me how to do that?"

"Certainly."

Just then, Peach took Samus inside for their first lesson.

"Snake. Do I have to go in the bathroom with you?" asked Sonic.

"Yes. What if I'm attacked while not looking?" said Snake.

"Ugh. Fine, but make it quick."

In the bathroom, not only was Sonic impressed by the size of Snake's ding-a-ling, but he also learned that Snake grunts and mumbles stuff while he pees. "Oh yeah. Mmm. This feels good. Ugh. Come out little peepee. You can do it. Ooohhhhh yeaaaaah. Ahhhhh. Alright, I'm done." said Snake. Sonic couldn't respond because he was mentally scarred. "Um, Snake." said Sonic.

"Yeah?" replied Snake.

"You can wear your box when going to the bathroom."

Roy, who woke up and was absolutely hungover again, so Roy decided that he needed help. Roy decided to go to an AA meeting. He went in and saw a lot of old people. "Look what we have here," said a member who was no younger than 60, "we have a pet." "No actually," said Roy, but before Roy could say anything else, a little old lady started petting him. Roy actually liked and went along with it. He had no idea why they thought he was a pet, but those old people knew how to pet. All of the members started cuddling with him and petting him and Roy wasn't even thinking how strange this was. The leader of the club then said, "Alright everyone, we petted Princess long enough, let's get back." "What?" thought Roy, "I'm no Princess." "Excuse me ma'am, I'm n-" Roy said, but was interrupted by the leader saying, "Hush now, Princess. We humans need to talk." "Do people not think I'm a human?" thought Roy. Roy was about to leave, but one of the member then said, "Maybe she wants some food." "Oh, right. Thanks, Jude. I'll get some." said the leader. She got some Froot Loops and gave them to Roy. This made Roy stay. He may not have been an animal, but he sure was a sweet tooth.

 **So, how did you guys like it? Peach teaching Samus? Ike and Marth as busboys? Sonic babysitting Snake? Roy being a pet for old people? Maybe this vacation was a bad idea. However, hoped you liked it! Also, I don't own any of these characters. Nintendo does. Thought I might want to say that just in case.**


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